4 Tips on How to Build Your Wedding Guest List
Whew, let’s talk about building your guest list for your wedding. One of the most important days in your life is happening and stressing out over the guest list is very common. Yes, you may want everyone to be there however, is it possible?
When my husband and I were planning our wedding, whew. Let me say the meme, “I’m sorry for the things I said while making the guest list” is true. What .. a time.
Below are 4 Tips For How To Build Your Wedding Guest List (in no order):
1. INVITE PEOPLE THAT WILL PRAY OVER YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE.
As much as you may want everyone there, just know that everyone does not have the same intentions that you may have. Some people just want to come to be nosey, get a free plate of food, free drinks, all that. I learned the hard way of that’s how people really are when planning the wedding. Some people won’t even buy you a 4 for 4 at Wendy’s but want an invite to your biggest day, make it make sense. Invite people that you know will pray over you and your spouse and that have great intentions. As much as you want it to be the “biggest party of the year", remember to protect your heart and money with this one.
2. BE REALISTIC ABOUT YOUR NUMBER.
Listen, weddings are expensive. The more people you have, the more mouths and bodies you have to coordinate for. From buying a certain number of save the dates, invites, food, wedding favors, chairs, tables, all THAT. Don’t think you can invite 200 people and have a $5,000 budget. Please lol.
3. SET RULES
We all heard the lines, “I can’t wait for my invite” and I know the eyes are rolled EVERY TIME. People love to invite themselves to things, surprise. However, people who have actually planned something know not to say this. Things add up and people should know that everyone can’t be invited. If this happens to you say something along the lines of, "Of course we'd love to invite everyone, but unfortunately, with the venue space and our budget, we aren't able to."
Below are some other rules you should follow for your guest list:
Rate your guest from most important to “nice to have there but doesn’t have to be”. This will help keep numbers down and/or if you have to cut people out, the “nice to have” people can go first.
Children at your wedding: Don't feel bad about having an adults-only wedding. We only had the children that were apart of the wedding party invited to ours (flower girl and ring barrier).
If neither of you has spoken to or met them or heard their name before, don't invite them: Listen, as much as parents love to invite their friends, set rules for them or give them a limit. Again people cost money and this is YOU AND YOUR PARTNERS DAY.
If neither of you has spoken to them in a year or two and they're not related to you, don't invite them. That’s extra mouths and they really don’t care about you.
PLUS ONES: In all caps because listen. People think they’re going to automatically get one because they were invited. No no no. Below are our rules for the plus ones:
Wedding party, automatic plus one (groomsman and bridal).
Must be in a serious relationship (long-term girlfriend or boyfriend, engaged or married). Don’t stress over people who aren’t in a stable relationship because they can say “yes” to the plus one and give a name 4 months out, then it would be a totally different person on the wedding day. Save your heart and money on this one.
Seat people coming in solo with other people coming in solo. They’re bond and have a blast, believe me. We did that and they’re now friends.
4. AVOID LAST MINUTE ADD-ONS.
Honey, rules are rules. Deadlines are deadlines. When creating your RSVP date, give at least a week grace period. This will give you time to contact the people that you have invited and see if they’re coming or not. If they don’t contact you back, hey, that’s on them. They’re off the list and you have to move on. When the final list is complete, make sure you stick to it. The “I forgot” and “Omg can I bring..” is something that a lot of people will end up saying. However, this isn’t a kickback. You can’t just show up.
Remember this day is about you and your partner. Don’t let the stress of other people get to you. It is very common that relationships with family and friends do change while planning for this milestone. Why? Because people think they are obligated to do and say certain things when they’re NOT. Protect your heart and save your money and enjoy your wedding day.
Stay safe, be healthy, and mindful of yourself.
